The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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