Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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