so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
