I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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