I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
