she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
