Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
