Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
