haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
