So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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