He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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