I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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