Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
