I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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