We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
