Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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