At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
