so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
