all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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