Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
