I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
