last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
