Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
