I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You're a waste of cheezeits
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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