id be glad to
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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