You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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