I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
