And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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