Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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