Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
there is glitter all over my balls
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
