Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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