so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
