Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
