I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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