I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
