I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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