Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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