Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
people are starting to question the shark bite story
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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