you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
