You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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