One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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