yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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