I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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