I accidentally burped into my bong.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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