honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
