I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
