Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
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