please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
