I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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