first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
This toilet bowl is my home.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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