I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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