What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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