Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
