So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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