I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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