You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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