wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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