I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My cat gives me a boner
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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