You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
