How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
