Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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