Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize