Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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