It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
3 2 1 whiskey
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
