4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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