the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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